Tuesday, August 15, 2017

#PrepWithPurpose - Taidus

ARE YOU NEW TO #PrepWithPurpose?! For backstory on what this is all about please read the original blog entry and/or Instagram Post. 
Hey Fit Fam,

31 days .. THIRTY ONE FREAKING DAYS .... until I step on stage for prejudging at Mr Olympia! Just typing that gives me all the "feels" .. however it still doesn't feel REAL! Someone that has walked through that glorious red O .. tell me .. when does it feel real? Does it EVER feel real?
Most days I don't even realize that I FINALLY earned Pro Status, lol!

I'm so grateful for the ability to do everything I need to do in order to step on that stage. While I wish NO ONE was hurting .. I wish NO ONE had pain .. I wish NO ONE even needed to be "lifted up and for" .. I'm grateful that I have people that I can dedicate my lifts to during prep for the biggest competition of my life.

As I've said before .. it just takes prepping/training to another level and makes me feel as if I am doing this for more than just "me, me, me".  If you are new to PREP WITH PURPOSE and have no clue what it is all about... HERE is the blog I wrote about this little prayer chain type project when I first came up with it in Spring 2016 ... as I prepped for Team Universe. I hope you are joining me. Trust me .. it will change your mindset in ways that only gratitude and prayer can!

So here we are ... a new #PrepWithPurpose that once again is someone within our "fit fam".
Two weeks ago we were lifting in HONOR of Sean Harris .. an IFBB Pro bodybuilder who died in a car accident just days before competing in Tampa Pro. Last week we were lifting up and for Rich Piana after he collapsed in his home and was placed in a medically induced coma.

This week ... its the sweet little baby of one of the make up artists that so many of us use to get glammed up for stage.

A cute picture posted by "V The Make Up Artist" of her and her little boy popped up on my feed over the weekend. As I went to give it a double tap .. simply thinking "OMG her little baby is so cute" ..  I saw the caption. I'm glad I actually READ it ... instead of quickly scrolling as many of us do. No need for me to write a blog myself .. her words say it all.


"There have been very few times in my life that have crushed me down to my soul. But none more heart piercing then the time a Dr told us that our 15 month old son was diagnosed with AML leukemia. Your perception of reality comes crushing down on you like a ton of bricks, it's a heavy feeling that is indescribable. You don't want to fall asleep because reality hits you again when you wake up in the hospital with nurses coming in and out and your baby hooked up to a machine. Watching your baby go through numerous blood drawings and the pain associated with all the numerous surgical procedures is a helplessness no parent should ever have to endure. To have to tell your other boys their baby brother and parents aren't going to be coming home for awhile is only another battle we also have to face. The guilt, the hurt, the frustration, the sadness, the fear it's all so real and hard to cope with at times. It was so difficult and still is telling people. For one it's a reminder of the disease your child has, and on the other hand you start to realize only anyone can really say is "I'm sorry and if there is anything you need let me know". And it's the truth people are sorry Taidus and our family is going through this but it also hurts knowing there's nothing anyone can really do about my babies cancer going away. I just want him home (I've thought about our hospital escape a few times lol) and healthy and I want my crazy family back and running errands and having him make a mess all over our house. It's those little things you begin to miss and cherish. You know those things you complain about being parents of three crazy boys -those are all the things we want back. Although we are 2 months in and he is responding well to the treatment, there is still so much unknown about what his future holds and it's f*cking hard. We are estimated to be in the hospital for 6-8 months, and a parent needs to be with him to care for him 24/7 in the hospital. I have reduced my work a lot and dad has taken medical leave, we are accepting donations via his gofundme due to medical expenses and a reduction in work. If you would also like to support please share."

You can find more updates on their GO FUND ME PAGE..... and this is V's most recent Instagram post  as of 8/15/17.

"It's 2am and I haven't been able to sleep. I can't stop fucking crying- I'm a mess.. staring at my boys sleeping next to us all crammed in our bed. I don't want my family pulled apart again, I don't want to take Taidus back to the hospital for another round of chemo. As much as I loved coming home it fucking sucks, It was like a small tease of what our life used to be like. Back to the hospital we go for another month. Just Taidus and I. Not my boys, not my husband. Just Taidus and I and the four walls of the dreaded hospital room. Knowing what lies ahead I don't want to close my eyes because I don't want to miss another minute of us being together in our home. It reminds me of when we were first admitted. I hated falling asleep and waking up to see my baby still hooked up to machines, still in the hospital with him, realizing that it wasn't just a really bad nightmare. Waking up and reality hitting you each time as if you were being stabbed. Stabbed with the reality my baby has fucking Cancer....cancer. How how how the fuck does my 15 month get cancer. Not just any cancer but that 1% in chance type of cancer. How?! What did I do wrong?! I thought I had learned so much more by baby #3 on how to care for him. He was at home with me, the first child of ours that I was able to stay home full time and care for. The one I breastfeed the longest knowing the benefits. He wasn't even sick with a cold the first year of his life. We gave him almond milk instead of cows milk, we educated ourselves more about health and nutrition. So where did I go wrong? It's the hardest fucking thing to deal with the guilt of feeling helpless, the unanswered questions, no one knowing what causes it and know one knowing what the future holds. Having to ask others to care for your other boys and not being able to tuck them in at night or wake up to them. Not being able to have taken them to all the summer activities you had planned. No longer being able to take them to and from school. From one day to another just like that they no longer get to see their brother or parents very much. Its not fair to them or to Taidus. As parents Nick and I  just wish we could somehow fix this or put all of this onto us somehow and not our babies. It's taken awhile to accept and To be honest I still don't think we can and we still are hesitant to utter the words but we are #cancerparents now fighting for @taibaby_strong to come out on top and be back permanently at HOME where we all belong."

V has started using the hashtag #diariesofacancermom.
For whatever reason ... that really "got me".

I'm only a "fur mom" so I don't know what it's like to have a child. I simply cannot imagine what she is going through.

I ask that you please join me in lifting up and for little Taidus and his family that is hurting along with him.

With every stride, with every rep, before every lift, during every lift, when I wake up and before I go to bed ... I will be saying a prayer for them this week (and of course even after a new prep with purpose person is posted.)

If you don't believe in prayer .. you can still participate in this project. Simply send out some good vibes into the universe, go post an uplifting comment on her page, etc. Then as you get up and use your ABLE BODY to train (or whatever it is you do each day) ... use this little boy and his family as a reminder of your ABILITY .. a reminder at how fragile life is .. a reminder it can all change in one second. Don't complain ... be grateful.

If you are able .. HERE is the Go Fund Me link to help them during this horrible time.


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