Saturday, August 13, 2016

#PrepWithPurpose - August 13, 2016: Lifting Up And For Little James

For backstory on what #PrepWithPurpose is all about please read the blog entry and/or Instagram Post.

Hey Friends,

It's been an odd week.

My husband just got home yesterday after a week in CHINA! I don't really have much going on in "life" (yet somehow seem to be busy .. odd how that happens) and I have found myself lacking motivation. No real reason at all. I think I'm just really goal driven and without a show in the NEAR future and kind of at a point where I just need to maintain my physique .. it gets a little stagnant.
Maybe I"m bored? I changed my workouts a tad (shhh...don't tell my coach) for this week only just to do ANYTHING different. I'll chat with him today to see if we are going to change them going into prep for my string of Pro shows that I'll do late summer/early fall .. or if we will stick to what has worked. I know what he is going to say (lol) but I get bored so easy, so I try to change things up in my OWN way .. but I think that is one reason I like OFF season so much .. more variety!

I think it is actually not so much lack of PERSONAL motivation as it is not having anyone to lift up and for. It's made for some loooooooong workouts and HIIT sessions! I love this little project so much. I don't even know if anyone is reading this. I'd like to say I don't care ... but I do. But only because if more people read .. more people are "lifting up and for" the person of the day. But either way .. it's been an amazing thing for me personally. Finding a purpose deeper than myself in such a "me-me-me" sport has been a really powerful thing.

For now .. I've decided to hold off on competing again until September or October. I got feedback from judges and there really isn't anything I need to "work on" per say .. just need to try to figure out a few things when it comes to dialing in (which may just be a few posing tricks .. not sure yet) and make sure in the next weeks I maintain my muscle (don't lose or gain.) Regardless I'm going to be going hard usual. So I need people to LIFT UP and FOR!! If you are someone, know someone, have seen something -- please email me! In order to do a blog entry I need ALL DETAILS possible and if the person doesn't mind .. a picture or two or three.

Moving on ... I had a great little girl to motivate me yesterday. If you didn't see it .. please check out my entry on little Charlie Darling. Today I find myself writing a similar entry. Another tiny little innocent baby ... so fragile and in desperate need of our prayers. This Prep With Purpose may be one of the most heartbreaking ones to date. A friend of mine that I was in a church group with many years ago when I lived in Knoxville sent me today's "person". This little boys mother has a blog that I seriously cannot read. I tried. But I found myself so sad, so helpless, so depressed for this family.

Please .. lift up and for this precious little boy and his family today and continue to remember them in the days to come.

Prep With Purpose - August 12, 2016: Little James
Welcome to the world James. This little guy was born just a week ago and all odds are against him. Most statistics say he shouldn't have even made it out of his mothers womb .. others say he won't "make it" long enough to be discharged from the hospital. But look at this little guy ... I can just tell he is a fighter ... can't you? 

From what I can gather from his mothers blog..she knew what I am about to tell you going into his birth. 

James has something called Trisomy 18. According to the Trisomy 18 Foundation - Trisomy 18, also known as Edwards syndrome, is a condition which is caused by a error in cell division, known as meiotic disjunction. When this happens,  instead of the normal pair, an extra chromosome 18 results (a triple) in the developing baby and disrupts the normal pattern of development in significant ways that can be life-threatening, even before birth.  A Trisomy 18 error occurs in about 1 out of every 2500 pregnancies in the United States and 1 in 6000 live births.  The numbers of total births is much higher because it includes significant numbers of stillbirths that occur in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters of pregnancy. Unlike Down syndrome, which also is caused by an extra chromosome, the developmental issues caused by Trisomy 18 are associated with more medical complications that are more potentially life-threatening in the early months and years of life.  Studies have shown that only 50% of babies who are carried to term will be born alive, and baby girls will have higher rates of live birth than baby boys.

He is doing well at the moment, but he had some seizures a couple of nights ago. According to her blog, they are expected to be able to take him home tomorrow...barring anything else developing. He will go home with his NG tube in place, and they will feed him using a syringe pump until (if?) he becomes able to handle oral feedings better.

His mothers words are so heartbreaking -- "It hammered home the point that James is a “medically fragile/complex” child. He is always going to have special needs. I cannot begin to fathom how we are going to get by, how life is going to proceed and be manageable. And then I laugh at myself for worrying about that. I am certainly putting the cart before the horse. James isn’t even home yet, and I am already worrying about the what-ifs of long term care. Who knows if I even get long term with him? What is long term for James?"

James has two little sisters at home. So of course his parents are worried about them too. We need to not only lift up and for little James ... but the entire family. I know they must be so grateful he is already beating the "medical odds" .. but as you can read .. her pain and worry is something she will continue to carry as little James fights to LIVE.

Today is my hardest lower body lift day. I am also planning on doing something I NEVER do and having a "loosely tracked" day when it comes to my macro counting. My husband and I haven't had a date night without my scale, or at a place where the macros are listed, in I don't know how long. This doesn't mean I'll say "forget it" .. it means I'll attempt to hit my macros by guessing .. knowing I'm going over today .. being mindful .. but not worrying about it for a meal/day. I don't do this when on prep .. but technically I have a couple weeks before I'll need to be "back on it 100%". I never allow myself to do this. I always track except maybe holidays. I haven't even had a chance to celebrate my PRO win really .. or my first pro shows .. etc. So tonight I will set my scale aside and eat mindfully and enjoy every bite. But first I'll get in that TOUGH lift and every single rep, every drop of sweat, every ache and pain ... will be in honor of little James and his family. I hope they feel the extra prayers and love. 

I will also hold his mothers words dear to my heart. These are a few exerts (strung together) from one of her blogs. Her words hit me so hard and I will carry them with me today as allow myself to let go a little and live in the moment. I pray that we all learn to be better at living in the "now" .. focus on each moment we are in ... and live in it. As she says .. let go of control. (oh how I am SO bad at this.) 

One day at a time. One hour at a time. One setback at a time. It is all I can deal with at this moment. Living in the now, holding my sweet baby, kissing him every time like it could be the last – that is how I am existing. What comes tomorrow will just have to wait until tomorrow. His presence is a gift, he is the sweetest little boy, and I cannot look into the future, or my heart will shatter.
I need to be here with him now and focus on each moment with him. Live in the moment. Let go of control. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Love freely and remember the things that really matter.  

**Exert from blog. You can read more about this families journey and little James HERE**

Be well my friends.


1 comment:

  1. Thank you for lifting up our family and featuring us on your blog. Do not feel depressed or helpless for us. Feel joy! While this has been the hardest journey that I have ever had to face and hopefully will ever face, we are so grateful that James is here, that he is gaining weight, that is with his mommy and daddy and sisters. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but we aren't going to worry about that, because worrying about tomorrow robs today tf its happiness. -Cat (James' lucky mom)