Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Sweet Dreams -- NOT these -- HELP!

Hey Friends,

I could really use some advise.

I've had bad dreams, even what are known to many as "night terrors", on and off since I was a small child. In fact, I wouldn't fall asleep alone until I was at least 4 because I always dreamed my mom was going to die?

Excessive dreaming comes and goes for me, but here the past few weeks I've been waking up from up to 10 dreams a night .. and not just any dream .. what are obviously very bad dreams.

Thankfully they aren't all very vivid. What I remember is hit and miss, but I know that in most of them someone I care about is either telling me they are sick, or is dead. In a couple I'm at the funeral and the body keeps twitching and moving. It's so strange.

Then in other dreams all I remember is that I am surrounded by people I don't really care for. Often its people from my past but sometimes people in my life now. These are people I don't think of often, if ever. These are people I have forgiven for what they've done, or people that I really don't care about one way or another, but they are in my dream and in my dream I DON'T WANT them there, don't want them to see me, am often confused as to why they are around me. Sometimes I remember who the person is, othertimes I just remember that in general it was someone I choose not to be around or like, but can't specifically remember who.

Often I don't remember ANYTHING AT ALL. When I wake up it's usually abrupt. I'm crying or kicking or just awake feeling strong emotions that differ from dream to dream. Its usually a general uneasy feeling. But sometimes it's specific .. like fear, guilt, general worry, or sadness. But I don't know what the dream was about so I have NO CLUE why I feel that way. IT'S HORRIBLE!

I am human, so I have "stuff" in my life and "stuff" that I have to watch people I love go through, but overall I'm really happy! I have no crazy stress, no recent life changes, no major concerns, no guilty conscious about anything.

What can I do? Yesterday morning I woke up in such distress that I didn't want to go back to bed out of fear of dreaming again. Once I finally realized I really needed to go to sleep .. or I'd be a walking zombie at work ... I was only asleep for 30 minuets before I woke up with tears flowing down my face because I had a dream that someone near and dear to me was dying of cancer.

I've tried only thinking happy thoughts. Reading. Playing games. Blogging. Watching TV. Thinking of everything negative and trying to get it all outta my mind. Making my to do list for the next day/week. Praying. Even NOT praying right before bed - since I'm lifting up concerns so close to bedtime.

Nothing seems to matter. Sometimes I dream and sometimes I don't. Doesn't matter what I do, how I feel, etc. Suggestions??

Grace and peace to you,

1 comment:

  1. Hey Stacy, I know how you feel. My daughter has night terrors, and wakes up during the night, disoriented, screaming, and crying. Her peditrician told me that she's not getting enough rest. (sound familiar? lol) Also, if you are taking any medication, even some forms of birth control, list in their side-effects that they may cause vivid dreams and hallucinations. Just food for thought...
    Sincerely, Rachel
    A friend from School