Friday, April 1, 2011

I AM ALIVE!!

Hey Friends,

I really wanted to blog the past few days. Mainly cause I've actually had great subjects to blog about. But I have been so busy.

I have been on this earth 31 years as of yesterday -- March 31st. I'm still trying to comprehend how I could already be 30, little alone how another year could have already flown by :-( Maybe I'll blog about being "30 something" one day soon, but today there is one specific thing I want to blog about.

Today is the anniversary of something I am eternally grateful for. I AM ALIVE!!
You see-- 13 years ago today I survived this.....



As you can see from the picture, I was in a horrible accident.

I went from going 40mph to a jolting halt. One second I was singing and all smiles
(I had just turned 18 the day before and was going to celebrate that night) ... Then the next ...things were totally silent as I entered a moment that would catapult a ripple of events that would forever change my life.

The silence didn't last long. Very soon I would hear the sound of the engine of the other vehicle involved start up. I would then feel a tug as the car parts that were wrapped around each other slowly came undone as the other vehicle pulled away. Fear rushed my body as I saw to my right the part of the other vehicle that had barely missed my head.

I realized quickly what had happened. I glanced around in shock. I saw my cars engine (or what looked to be) was in my back seat. Other parts that should normally be under the hood were in my lap and passenger seat. I remember seeing the dash up against me and the bright reflection of the CD I was listening to that had popped out ...it was blinding. Glass was shattered everywhere, but the largest piece had somehow shifted away from me and was swinging in the wind...sending tiny chards into the air..and on me..with ever gust. Smoke was making me cough and my face felt as if it were on fire from the explosion of the airbag hitting it. My rearview mirror was hanging low...just enough for me to glance in it and see blood on my face. Then I remember looking out my window and screaming for help.

So many people were so kind. But most of all I remember that the right side of my lower back hurt so bad....all I wanted was to lay flat. I was convinced that would help. It took paramedics what seemed like forever to arrive. I guess I should have watched what I wished for, because when they did arrive to get me out of the car, I will never forget the pain I experienced when they straightened my body to place it on the stretcher. That was the only time I thought I may black out.

I won't get into all the random specifics of what happened with the accident, events leading up to the accident, or what police and doctors said should or could have happened to me in the accident. Let's just say a lot of ironic things happened, or didn't, and because of that I am very lucky. Yup, God sure showed me it wasn't my time to leave this crazy world.

I still don't know why I was pulled from this wrapped metal and broken glass with only some some cuts and a broken femur - but I was. I have often asked God why he didn't take me that day. I still have no idea. After a series of horrible things following that day, I've even spent many of my "bad days" arguing with him that he maybe should have.

But now, even on days when I don't feel like admitting it, I know that I'm still here for a very specific reason. I've yet to come to the slightest conclusion of what that could be. Maybe THAT reason has come and gone ...or maybe it's yet to be. Either way I I feel pretty confident that for the moment .. I am where I am suppose to be.

Free of drama, happy, healthy, successful ... content.

I wanted to share more about this experience. Part of me wanted to talk about the many things that happened following that day and the physical and mental scars that the event and its butterfly effect left behind. I wanted to share how my thoughts changed..how my life changed..how people around me changed. But I will keep that to myself and just leave it like this ..... I'm alive. I'm blessed. I'm so lucky.

April 1, 1998 -- Sights, smells, fears, pains, realities and a wake up call I will never forget.

Grace and peace to you,
Stacy

4 comments:

  1. I'm so thankful that you are. It hurts me to look at this picture. For some reason you had to go through it. I don't know why. Maybe you wouldn't be as grateful as you are now. Who knows. But my life would be very dark and painful and lonely. I've often wondered what my life would've been like had I stayed back home. If we'd ever have met? I think so. Somehow. Thanks for making the world a better place.
    -Sully

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am also thankful you're still with us. Such a horrible accident can leave scares both mentally and physically. I've never met you personally, but you're a loss we can't have.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stacy, reading this story, and looking at the photo, brings tears to my eyes knowing you had to deal or go through such an event. But we that get to see you on tv, or know you personally are very blessed to have you still with us .. thanks for all you do for the community, and those that love you !

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stacy, it brings so many tears to my eyes, reading this story and looking at the photo, knowing you had to deal with such an event. We are very thankful those that know you on a personal level, and those whom love you to have you here still with us, and get to see you each day on the tv. Thanks for all you do for ALL of us !

    ReplyDelete