Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Just Breathe ....

You can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
And breathe, just breathe
Woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

I like the words to this Anna Nalick song.  So very true.  I guess I already touched on a part of the songs meaning in my blog post "If Only".  But today I'm talking about the "just breathe" part. It seems we all have a hard time doing that simple "inhale-exhale" thing. 

Let me share a recent experience I had with just that.   It happened earlier this month ( I started drafting this blog on 3-4 .. sorry). I experienced something I can't quite explain.  It was a sensation.  A rush of adrenaline I guess you could call it.  It as so intense and so quick to come about, that it literally almost made me feel as if I wasn't in my own body for a moment.  Instead of getting "hot" like one might when they get mad, I got very cold?  I felt as if this "wave" of ice cold air came over my body and then lingered on my scalp. Then the roots of each hair on my head slowly started to tingle. This sensation soon passed, but as my heart pounded, I looked down at my chest to find it  "normal".  You see, in an instance such as this it would typically be bright red and splotchy.  When I experience any extreme emotion I get like that. This time there was nothing of the sort.  Instead I glanced at my shaking hands as they typed on my keyboard. They had turned a strange shade of gray/blue. They were very "cold" looking. Maybe because in that very moment I became a cold person. The thoughts crossing my mind, the negative energy, everything in me at that moment was nothing but negative!!  I may not be proud of what I was feeling but at least I can admit it, right?

Someones ignorance and shallowness ticked me off so bad I almost let them get to me.  In this situation it wasn't "what" they said .. it was the simple fact that they said it.  You see I have learned to just not care what people say about me.  If they are talking bad about me and the person they are gossiping to/with wants to believe them without forming an opinion of there own, then they aren't someone I would care about anyway.
 We all know that people only bash people they don't know for one reason.  Yup, that green eyed monster called jealousy. So I always try to simply follow the wise words of Dr. Seuss who says "Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"!

I've experienced great loss, extreme fear, a lot of anger and the worst kinds of betrayal. Almost every spectrum of emotion one can experience I have experienced to some extreme, or I've watched someone experience it, but I never quite felt the way I did in that one moment.  Not sure what made it so different? But I felt it .. that's for sure!!

This moment made me think ... what really drives our emotions?  What is it that makes different situations strike different chords within us?  How can in one instance we react with a cool and level head and then in another similar instance go off like a freaking bomb?!

If it's true that any emotion, if involuntary, is sincere, then what does how we react to things say about who we really are? Or does it even say anything at all?

I don't like who I was in that moment.  But then again I don't like the stupid, idiotic, self centered, fake, shallow girl(s) who made me feel that way. In this instance, had I acted on my emotions, I would have "pleased them". So I just held the emotions in. But what if I hadn't? What if I would have decided to do everything my mind wanted me to do? Does that make me a bad person for even considering such things? Or is it just normal human emotion?

Maybe people shouldn't be shallow, immature and fake like this little group of "besties" and we wouldn't have to worry about negative energy at all?

As my granny would say .. "If all people were just like my Aunt Ernestine the world would be a better place"! My aunt is just one of those rare GOOD people out there. I have a few people in my mind that I wish everyone in this world would be like .. don't you?

Grace and Peace to you,

No comments:

Post a Comment