Adult Friendships

Hey Friends,

I stumbled across a couple of things that made me think about how different friendships were when we were kids. Isn't it crazy how in an instant we would make a new best friend. Well and I guess just as quickly hate their guts, haha!

As we become adults it becomes quite the challenge to find not only good people..but good people that you can fit into your “grown up” schedule. Even more than that, when you get older it seems that the “clicks” just get worse! Just not in the same way they were when we were younger.

When you get to be in that late 20’s to 40’s age range and you aren’t married, or don't have kids, it’s hard to find that group of "30 something" girls that are in your shoes. Then when you do meet girls in the same boat as you, chances are they already have their "30 something" girlfriends and are too busy to care to connect to anyone new. I don't blame them because I’m the same way. I’ve met lots of sweet girls, but our paths just don’t seem to be able to cross often enough to form something more than hugs and hellos.

Personally, my problem with allowing new people in my life is that I have become more guarded with age. I start wondering about peoples motives more than I once did. Maybe it’s not so much age as it is experience and learning that in general people tend to suck. I don't know, maybe it’s just the company I’m in.

Ya see, when I moved to Nashville I discovered a new “breed” of people. I won’t go into what qualities they have because the list is long and harsh, but lets just say that even if I can manage to avoid the "breed" it's hard not to have mutual friends or acquaintances.

In an attempt to avoid this "breed" of girls I decided that this town is waaaaay to big to have to even associate myself with an extension of this .. "breed". Major FAIL. Since I am often out and about all over town, have a very social career, in a relationship with someone that owns a very social business and mainly since Nashville is such a SMALL big town, that attempt has been nearly impossible.

I had to really start talking to God about this friendship thing more than I ever have in my life. I also had to really trust my gut and pray He would guide me to who I should trust. I’m not totally tuned into that “gut feeling” you are suppose to get because I doubt it too much, even though history tells me I shouldn’t.

I’ve allowed people into my life that I probably wouldn’t have a year ago, shut people off that I didn’t expect I would have to and found amazing friendships in some of the most un-expecting people.
Still yet, there are days, moments, issues, “gut feelings”, that make me second guess who I have let into my life thus far and maybe even who I've kept away.

Children have a natural instinct to bond. Why is it that as adults it becomes so much more of a challenge? Wonder what child like impulses we can take from our childhood self to form better adult friendships? Hmm, if you think about it, as kids we would tend to, or were told to do, what?? Share..Say please and thank you..Listen..Be curious..Have fun..Don't hold grudges..Be free spirited..Don't judge..Be nice..Say I'm sorry, Etc.

Makes sense.

What are your all’s thoughts about these so called adult friendships? I’m not talking about the girls you see out, speak to at social events, maybe even have dinner or a single night out with, I’m talking about true new adult friendships.

I’ve talked to enough people to know we all have issues when it comes to this. Curious what yours are?

Grace and Peace to you,
Stacy